Our Top 3 Places to Spend the Coronavirus Quarantine

I bet I could fit a lot of toilet paper in there.

Some of us already live in our Quarantine Paradise. Some of us can only dream…

Many (if not most) of you Popular Outdoorsman readers were already prepared for the Coronavirus pandemic long before the first breathlessly panicky stories started coming out of Wuhan, China early this year. However, as pragmatic people who otherwise have lives to lead and money to earn, chances are you’re currently enduring the quarantine in a place that’s less than ideal. (If you’re lucky enough to have your own Quarantine Paradise, tell us in the comments…just don’t say exactly where!) Here are the top 3 places we wish we were “cooped up” in for the next four to six weeks…

1. Doomsday Prepper Castle (Pictured above)

OK, this thing is called “Hard Luck Castle,” and it’s basically what would have happened if Burt and Heather Gummer from 1990’s Tremors had a dumptruck full of money and a team of ass-kicking architects. It’s a self-contained, off-the-grid fortress 10 miles away from the closest town, and I want it with every fiber of my being. The only thing “weird” here is the wondering, shocked tone of the article. Is it possible the author has never heard of prepping? And is it possible that in a post-Hurricane Katrina world there are still people who think stocking up on essential goods is a bad idea? I suppose it’s a little unusual the the house comes with…an actual working gold mine. And the bit about the two full-sized organs is a bit odd, I guess (but there’ll be three when I move in–heyooo!). Click here to drool with envy (might as well, nobody can see you doing it).

No electricity, no running water, no neighbors, no worries.

2. NRA Whittington Center in Raton, N.M.

Now here’s one that I actually didn’t know existed! As it happens, the NRA owns about 30,000 acres of land in a remote area of the Sangre de Cristo mountain range just south of the border with Colorado. It’s listed as a shooting center, with 18 different shooting ranges–including a 1,000-yard range for precision rifle competitions–but as it turns out, they also offer camping facilities, including RV hookups, cabins and wilderness camps, like the one pictured above. It’s a cabin on the property that’s only accessible by foot or horse, and it looks out over about 90 thousand additional acres of wilderness owned by (get this) Ted Turner. Although “camping facilities” implies that there will certainly be other people around, the good news is that they’re likely to be Popular Outdoorsman types who will keep their distance without having to be asked. And if you get bored, you can always hit one of those 18 ranges with the rifles and ammo you stockpiled. (You did stockpile, didn’t you…?) Click here to learn more.

Just don’t tell my ex-wife. She’ll hear the name and think it belongs to her.

3. Hoh Rainforest, Washington State

“Wait a minute, Trace,” you may be saying. “Not only is Washington State one of the hardest-hit places by the Coronavirus, but the Hoh Rainforest National Park is closed due to it.” To which I would reply one thing, and one thing only: The Hoh Rainforest is one of the quietest places on Earth outside of an anechoic chamber. Let me say that one more time for everyone who has a house full of kids who can’t go to school right now…one of the quietest places on earth. It’s a temperate rainforest, so temps rarely drop below freezing or above the mid-80s, making it a very comfortable place to live if you are eschewing the benefits of HVAC. Short of picking up stakes and heading to Hawaii–where they’ve been big fans of quarantines for a long time and have cracked down even harder of late–this is one of the best places to be if the lights ever go out.

Where’s your ideal quarantine spot? Tell us in the comments (but don’t give coordinates)!